Lessons From My Father - Part 2

Sometimes at night when I was alone, I wonder- Am I being a bad daughter? Should I ‘redha’ with the destiny ALLAH sets for me. Should I ( no matter how hard) accept my father’s weaknesses and forgive him and live happily ever after?I think I am redha because I never hated him for leaving us - I  forgave him - or else I wont be in this situation today. But, yet, happiness is something that is still missing.

I am so tired by all his empty promises. During my MRSM years - he promised to buy me hand-phone, which he actually did but later didn’t pay the bills. During my university years - he promised to buy me a car a Nissan Sentra he said - I would have satisfied with a Kancil instead back then, but then - Nothing. When I graduated and have to stay with him while mak was still working in Kuching, he still promised to buy me a car - but he bought a ugly junk and expect me to drive.

He got his VSS and half of his EPF when I wanted to get married. From those hundreds  thousands that he received - he gave me 1k for the wedding. Cool eh? Everything I spend on my wedding was from my pocket and mak’s. We couldn’t care less. Oh did I mentioned he told everyone that me and mon wont even make it  to the 3rd month? “3 bulan jer bercerai lah tu..” 

There’s this one time, when I was 12, an uncle came visiting. Dad wanted to see the uncle so he took me, Aty and that uncle of mine for dinner. I then told him that I want to buy some sate for nana as well. Dad proudly took out RM50 and hold it high and said- Ok, “Nah take this 50 cents”  I cant forget the look on my uncle’s face.  For us it was an insult.

It cant be denied, that when it comes to education, he is willing to spend a lot on books and other facilities that we need. Without his assistance I wont be what I am today. But, with all the gift came sarcastic comments. I don’t know whether I should be inspired by all that. One thing for sure it damages my emotion.  

At one time, he gave us his credit card should we need money at times of emergencies. After a while he stopped giving us the monthly allowance and we have to rely on the credit card. After some time he stopped paying the card.  And we were left broke. 

Dad and Mom made agreements during their divorce hearing that Mom wont request the nafkah to be deducted monthly from dad’s salary and dad agree to give mom a car for our usage. After sometime he stopped paying for the car and mom had to pay. There’s this one time he bought a car for mom (before the divorce settlements). A new car. One day the car when missing from mom’s office parking lot. He left an old office car instead - which obviously mom didn’t have access to. The new car we later discovered he used to go on a date with the Bitch, who also stole mom’s new expensive -powered sunglasses that she used for driving.  Mom and nonot ( from nursery) have to come home using taxi. We never see the car nor the sunglasses again.

Growing up- I thought that I am the one who makes my dad’s life miserable (financially). Not until I met Auntie ( my dad’s current wife). She told me that the bitch who snatched dad from mom, put my dad in huge debts. She fully utilized all his credit cards especially his AMEX. After gave my dad the son he always dream off- she fled with another man.  So, I stopped blaming myself. If there’s anyone that should be blame. It should be dad. 

 Since I started working - not even once I asked for his money although I know the exact amount he got from his VSS and EPF. Because I am done with him. But he came to me for help when he was broke (AGAIN).  Reluctantly willing to help, I seriously think that he would “insaf”  and try to make it right this time ( he is getting another half of his EPF). But yet I am wrong. As soon as he got his money - there’s no longer news or sms from him. I guess we might heard from him again when he is back to his previous situation - FLAT BROKE

 My dad and money is a deadly combination.  

I grew up with  only one ambition “I don’t want to be like my father”.  

 Lessons 2 & 3 :

2. Don’t share prosperity with your family - instead get a bitch.

3. When you are broke look for family - when you are rich - forgets them.